Defile
by ShuppetMaster
Summary: Bittersweet love story about a young woman with a scandalous secret who goes in search of her beloved hitmonchan after her father kicks him out in a fit of anger. Pokemon X Human, high sexual content, don't say I didn't warn you.
1. Chapter 1: Reverse Lolita

_Have you ever received a gift you didn't want, only to find that it would become your very favorite? It's like a book that looks boring at first, with too many pages and no pictures at all, but it opens your eyes once you finally decide to read it. It's when your parents give you an outdated toy that sits in its box for ages, waiting for you to give it some sort of attention. And when you finally do, it's like something new and fresh all over again. Maybe it's a little dusty, maybe a tad bit corroded with time, but that isn't what matters. What matters is that it's yours. All yours._

_And just when it means the most to you, it all disappears. Whether it lay broken in your hands or lost out in the world without guidance, the same terrible realization hits us all; that we will never see that happiness again. There is no way it can be reborn._

_I cried myself to sleep every night that my best friend didn't come home. Even though I knew he couldn't, there was still a little part of me that expected to see his face appear at my window some quiet, starry night. If only things had gone differently._

_It was my father who had brought him into my life, as a friend and protector. And it was that same man who drove him out._

_I can still remember the screaming and the violence. My Hitmonchan, my poor Knox. It wasn't his fault. I wept in the corner, unable to stop the rage that was taking place in the center of our once-peaceful home. It wasn't fair. Knox couldn't explain himself in words, for he had none to speak. And I; well, what good was my word against what my father had seen? Or, to put it more accurately, what he thought he had seen._

_Beaten and bruised, my cherished Hitmonchan was pushed out into the cold by my father's relentless anger. Knox only looked back once. His wide, blue eyes, now reddened and puffy, looked first to me and then to the loaded shotgun in my father's hands. Without more than a nod of compliance, my Hitmonchan turned his back and walked away. We never said goodbye._

_Every day I wish that I had followed him. My best friend, my wonderful companion, who had been by my side since I was just a little girl, was now gone._

_It's too early to tell you why my father did what he did. A stranger wouldn't understand my logic. What I ask of you is nothing more than an open mind and an open heart. I will quote the words of Lolita's Humbert; "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs-the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs- envied. Look at this tangle of thorns." Oh, Humbert, you poor misguided man, if only I were in your shoes. If only I were the persecuted one. For, as much as my parents wished to blame the poor creature that they shunned that day, there's no denying that the fault belongs to no other than myself._

_Good people of the jury, I present myself as not a victim, but a manipulative scoundrel and a wicked, wanton girl. I am the reverse Lolita. Call me a villain if you wish, call me a harlot, a witch, anything you please. Call me Remy O'Dell, and let that name indicate disgust on your tongue._

_I am as disgusted with myself as you will be with me._

The dinner table was quiet and dead. Mother sat across from me with her fork clinking against the porcelain plate, pushing her food around in circles. She hadn't made eye contact with me in days. Father, on the other hand, looked from face to face as though in waiting for a conversation that wasn't going to happen. I couldn't eat. Eating, sleeping; it was all impossible for me now, and even the thought of going on with a normal life made me sick. How could things ever be the way they used to be?

"Remy," father grunted as he gave me a shifty stare from the end of the table. "You need to eat something. Don't waste."

_Don't waste. That's all you have to say? _

I looked down at the mess of vegetables and untouched dumplings that were turning cold on my plate. "I'm not hungry," I confessed as I lay my fork down and dropped both of my hands into my lap. My father was not pleased.

As if it were an act of protest, my father slapped his cloth napkin against the table with a sharp 'whack!' and dropped his silverware before standing to his feet. His chair almost toppled over behind him. I knew what he thought of me. Such a horrible, ungrateful, disrespectful child I was. There's only one problem here, father. I'm not a child anymore.

I hung my head as my father stomped past me, shielding my face with strawberry-colored locks of hair, like a pair of wavy curtains. Across from me, I could hear my mother whimper. She was always so sensitive, so fragile. Or perhaps it was simply my father's cruelty that rendered her eternally helpless.

With her shaking hands, mother placed her silverware gingerly on her plate and wiped her fingers on the napkin beside it. "You know, sweetie," her soft voice trembled nervously. "Perhaps you ought to see someone. You know, someone professional. It wouldn't hurt, considering the…circumstances..."

I wasn't listening to her anymore. My attention was drawn to a strip of orange light bouncing off the hallway floor and making a trail back to the front door where it was born. The sunset and all its brilliant colors illuminated hundreds of floating specks of dust, all of them continuously circling. Thirteen years ago, a six-year old me sat on the carpet and tried to catch them like pixies. That was the last time I spent the day alone.

_A flood of red and orange light appeared where the front door used to be. I blinked my eyes, which were still in that childhood stage of deciding whether or not they were green or blue. The blinding light was soon replaced with the silhouette of my parents, coming home from their social outings at just the time I had anticipated. They were always outgoing people. So warm, so inviting, and so friendly with their adult companions; but not their daughter. Every day I would hold out my arms and await a hug and a kiss they would never give me, and today was no different. I stood up and ran to them, my little bare feet pitter-pattering against the carpet. And then I stopped. Something _was _different, for this time a third silhouette stood between my mother and father. _

"_Remy," my father's voice emanated from the tallest of the three black masses as he slowly shut the door, "I want you to say hello to someone."_

_Hello was possibly the last thing I would be saying. There's just something about being a naturally small person that makes the world that much more frightening, especially when you're young. I noticed right from the off that the stranger my parents had brought home was not a human guest, but a Pokémon. Not only that, but it was twice my height and looked like it could possibly lift me over its head and snap me in two without breaking a sweat. Needless to say, I wasn't quite prepared to say 'hello' to the creature. Rather, I did as most scared children do, and I recoiled in fear. _

_Mother chuckled. "Oh now, sweetheart, don't be scared." She cooed warmly, beckoning me towards her. "He won't hurt you."_

Oh, my dear mother, so confident you were then in your choice. The perfect protector, the perfect babysitter and watchdog; you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

I pushed my plate away from myself and got out of my chair. While I wrapped my sweater tightly around my body, I took solace in the constricting, almost violent, feeling of the fabric squeezing my limbs inwards. I wasn't even cold.

Somewhat on accident, my mother and I made eye contact. Perhaps if she saw the way I hugged myself close, she would understand the reasons for my actions. Maybe, just maybe, if they had just humored me in my youth and given me that embrace or that kiss I longed for, they wouldn't need to have buy a Pokémon off some seedy bartender to act as my warden. And then—well, we wouldn't be here, now would we?

Your smile is so warm, mother…so why isn't your heart?


	2. Chapter 2: After School

The yard had never been so lonely.

The porch still creaked when I stepped on all the sensitive boards, but it wasn't the same. Even the wind-chime wasn't quite in the key I was used to. And the bench where I sat felt a little bit colder against my bare legs than I had remembered.

But some glimmers of the not-so-distant past still remained. The way that the setting sun casted shadows between the trees and the fence was exactly as it was on many evenings. The grass was beginning to grown out, but patches of raw dirt still made their presence known. The tree beside it, which used to hold a large, rice-filled punching bag, was now bare and freed of its heavy burned. Father had already taken it down. Only the frayed end of a rope still remained, swinging back and forth ominously like a hangman's noose.

As a warm breeze swept by, I swung my bare feet back and forth gently like I always used to. Perhaps if I closed my eyes for a moment, I could turn time back for a second or two. Sadly, it wouldn't work that way. It was too quiet and too barren. I couldn't even fool myself.

One of my bare feet nudged a bit of cloth next to it, unexpectedly. The piece of cloth in question was a fragment of a backpack—the same pack I had been carrying around since grade school. Right now, it was stuffed full of every little thing I could fit. Clothes, non-perishables, soap—and those were just a few of the necessities. This wasn't a camping trip, and it wasn't a weekend vacation. It was decided, by me and me alone, that tonight I would leave this town. Would I ever come back? Who knew…?

But I didn't care too much about that.

XxxX

_I dropped my backpack in the living room and quickly stripped off my uniform shirt. The itchy collar and hot, constrictive sleeves were too much for me to bear for a moment longer. I hated that pleated-skirt establishment. Quickly, I un-tucked my plain white tank top and threw off my shoes and socks, leaving them in the center of the floor like most thirteen-year olds tend to do. Mom and dad weren't home, and my classes had ended at noon today due to some teacher appreciation event I didn't give a damn about. I guess you could call me a latchkey kid. _

_Just as I was stretching my arms over my head and savoring the endorphins, the front yard suddenly erupted with sound. Maybe it was a building collapsing, maybe a flying saucer landing in our lawn…but more likely, it was just Knox. _

_Sure enough, I took one peek through the sliding glass door and there he was, standing frozen in the center of the yard with a large, broken tree branch at his feet, punching bag still attached. It would appear that our dear hitmonchan had underestimated his strength. Again. The poor guy looked like he was about to have a heart attack. _

"_Good job!" I yelled mockingly, making an ugly face against the glass. Knox nearly jumped out of his boxing gloves. He glanced up at me, wide-eyed, with an expression that clearly told me he wasn't aware of my shortened schedule._

_I flung the door open and skipped down the porch steps, blinking into the glaring sunlight. Amidst all of my joyous giggles and immature teasing, Knox still wore that apologetic look that a child wears before being reprimanded by an adult. But would I ever do that to him? Certainly not. I found the whole situation to be quite hilarious, actually._

_Knox thought otherwise. Still looking shamefully down at the dirt, he presented the side of his face to me as though expecting me to slap it. _

_But I didn't slap him. Instead, I spread my arms out and smiled at my friend expectantly. "Aren't you gonna welcome me home?" I asked with a feigned pout. _

_There was a sudden change in the atmosphere at that point. The Pokémon's face slowly transformed from a terrified grimace to a surprised smile as he realized the difference between a master and a friend. A master will punish you for mistakes and push you to fix them. A friend, however, will help you make it right. While my father called himself a master—harsh and always exacting his brutality—I did not. With that, I offered myself up for a friendly hug._

_He gladly accepted the gesture. _

XxxX

As the minutes passed, looking out into the yard became increasingly more difficult. The sun was already below the horizon and its light was moving out quickly. It must have had someplace to go, something to do there, other people to grace. And so I thought to myself, to be like the sun—to leave and just keep moving—might be for the best. Perhaps one day, I might even find myself back where I started.

But I'm not the sun. I'm just a girl; one without the perfect body, without perfect skin or hair, and without the courage to be more than what I already am.

Most importantly, I'm a girl without her best friend.

They say that if you really want something, you have to fight for it. Now I don't know who 'they' is, but as I sat alone on that swinging bench, the thought occurred to me that my good friend Knox wasn't going to come back on his own. At least, not after my father threatened him with a shotgun to the head. And although I may not be brave or strong or particularly talented, the truth still remains; the only thing keeping me from running out of this town right now was my mother and father.

But let's be honest…what did I owe them?


	3. Chapter 3: C Minor

Mother. Father. Will you even notice when I'm gone? Will you cry when you realize the truth about your precious little girl? Or will you just shun every thought of me and replace it with anger and embarrassment? I decided not to write you a letter saying goodbye. I thought, under the circumstances, it wasn't necessary, or appropriate. Your slow, steady road to realization will be a better one than the quick plummet I could offer you. Mother. Father. You're not ready to learn yet.

Their muffled voices in the next room prompted me to stay but a minute longer. As I sat on my bed, looking around one last time at the things I was leaving behind, my parents were in their room blissfully unaware of my plans. Without a doubt, their ignorance was bliss for all three of us.

"I can't help but think we made a mistake," I heard my father say. Already I knew, they were talking about me.

"Charles, we wouldn't have known," my mother replied to him. "We couldn't have."

"I just think that maybe we should have thought about it a little longer, Charlotte, before we made the decision. But it was so long ago…"

"Exactly. And there's no changing it now. It's in the past, dear."

"But still. I mean, why didn't I notice something? Why wasn't I more …vigilant?"

"Please, dear, stop blaming yourself for this. There was no way you could have known. It's not your fault."

"But I'm her father. I'm supposed to protect her."

"You did all you could."

_Protect me, dad? It's so strange to hear you say those words, considering that never once in my life have you been a protector to me. You were always too busy with your business and your parties. So oblivious…_

My father sighed heavily. "It just sickens me," he said with a horrible touch of spite that made my nose cringe. "I think about the last thirteen years…we let that _thing_ in our house. We let it roam wherever it wanted, we let it play with our child, we let it mind her every single day. For fuck's sake, we even let it sleep in her _bed_! Thirteen years!"

"Charles, calm down…"

I was overcome with a mixture of negative feelings. Anger stood at the front, just wishing it could scream and holler at the man in the next room. _Don't call Knox an 'it', don't treat him like an animal, and stop jumping to your stupid conclusions! _The other part of me was terrified.

When I left, would I ever be able to come back, after hearing all of this?

I touched the tender wound on my forehead, stitched up and half-healed but still sensitive. This was a sick reminder of my father's quick-to-judge temper. To me, this scar was an accident. To him, it was assault. It was about time that both of my parents learned that I was no longer a child but an adult, with opinions of my own and a lifestyle of my own, and plenty of other things they probably wouldn't agree with. I ran my fingers along the scar once more before bending down to grab my backpack. I slung it over my shoulder, sneakers on and items packed, ready to start acting like an adult for once in my life.

I climbed out of my bedroom window, knowing full well that if I left, I would not be welcomed home. Not ever.

XxxX

_At the age of ten, my parents had decided that I needed some type of 'culturing' in my system. And so, like most moderately wealthy citizens who don't feel like spending time with their children, they schedule private piano lessons for me. I hated them with a passion. It wasn't the instrument itself that I hated. As a matter of fact, I loved the sound and feel of the keys against my fingers and the smell of sheet music. I loved everything about playing the piano, except following instructions. _

_After each lesson, the withered old woman who dictated every single move I made would leave in a rather bitter mood. One more scale unsuccessful, one more meaningless little ditty learned, one restless child driving her utterly insane—it was a weekly deal. _

_The piano lessons came and went, but the instrument stayed in the house. At age fifteen, I knew enough about the keys to play simple melodies by ear and to even compose a few of my own. None of them were impressive or perfect, but the new-age quality of a slow, melancholy piece was enough of an accomplishment for me to die happily. _

_As I tested out a few keys with intent to experiment with chords and harmonies, I got this feeling. You know that eerie little sensation you get when someone is standing behind you? Even if you can't hear them or see their shadow, it's like the air gets a bit thicker. _

_My fingers hovered gingerly over the cold, ivory keys as I smiled to myself calmly. _

"_Sit down with me." I said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. I didn't need to see my hitmonchan to know that it was him. Like all people you grow accustomed to being around, he had his own atmosphere and his own scent. _

_Knox sat down beside me on the wooden bench, looking curiously at the piano and then up at me. That look in his eyes—innocent, naïve wonderment—made me think he was waiting for something. What did he expect, a serenade? _

_I smiled warmly at my Pokémon friend. "Wanna learn?" I asked him sweetly, to which Knox eagerly nodded with a little murmur of "hm". That was the funny thing about Pokémon. The language barrier wasn't so much understanding as it was phonetics. My hitmonchan could understand every word that came out of my mouth, and it was obvious. I liked to think that Pokémon vocabulary was as vast as that of every human they meet, but they just can't get the sounds to come out. _

_Then again, when you're with a Pokémon for so long, words aren't always necessary. _

"_Okay," I beamed, grabbing Knox's wrist. "You're gonna have to take your gloves off first, though."_

_They say a hitmonchan's fists move faster than the human eye can detect. From this personal experience, I can vouch that this rumor is one-hundred-and-ten percent truth. Before I could even grab ahold of Knox's gloved thumb, he pulled his arms back and topped onto the floor in a panic, eyes wide and his teeth gritted. I didn't know whether to be afraid or ashamed of myself. _

"_I-I'm so sorry." I stammered, holding my shivering hands up to my chest defensively as I awaited my punishment. I clenched my eyes shut tightly and bowed my head with dignity and respect for the creature in front of me. "I didn't know. Please, Knox, I didn't mean to pry. If it hurts, if they can't come off, just tell me and I'll never try to—"_

_I was silenced; not by a sound or an injury but by a gentle touch. At first, I didn't recognize this new flesh. It was calloused and rough, unlike my mother's hands, but too kind to be my father. I opened my eyes with a little bit of hesitation, finding that my hitmonchan had found his way off the floor and onto the bench again. _

_One glove lay abandoned on the ground whilst the other was currently being dropped beside it. Knox had laid three fingers over my mouth in a code of silence as he stared at me, not angrily or sadly but with a sort of cheerful indifference. He murmured a few low whispers of 'mon' and 'chan', which in my translation was something like: "it doesn't hurt." _

_Few trainers of fighting-type Pokémon know the true mystery of whether or not a hitmonchan evolves with its gloves attached or not. I can't answer that, because Knox came to me as he was. But as I looked at his calloused, bandaged hands, I realized why he would keep them hidden. You see, after about three million lightning-fast punches, it puts a little strain on the knuckles. His four claw-like nails were broken all the way to the quick at points. His fingers were thick, strained, and chapped from so much physical abuse. My hands were hurting just looking at them. But these hands weren't deformed and they weren't mangled; they were roughened by hard work and unending fortitude. _

_I reached for Knox's hand and held it fearlessly in mine. "They look fine to me," I said to him soothingly as I placed his fingers onto the piano keys and pressed down. _

"_This one here, this is a high E…now go down to the flat…good, good! Now play these three in a row and I'll play them on the lower octave…"_

A week later, the piano was moved out of the house.

Mother and Father never told me why. 


	4. Chapter 4: Quench Me

Truth be told, I hadn't planned what I'd do once I made my escape. The night was starless and pitch black. The only lights guiding me through the abandoned streets of my neighborhood were the pale glows of porch lamps and the distant flicker of still-waking television watchers inside their cozy houses. A brief fear crossed my mind. What if someone recognized me through the window? What would they tell my parents? A moment later, that dread seemed silly; it wasn't like I would be coming home tomorrow night to find furious parents wondering where I'd been. I wouldn't be going home for a very long time, if ever again.

In the distance, thunder rumbled quietly like the belly of a hungry animal. The approaching storms brought a chill wind with it, along with the musky smell of rain in the air. I breathed deeply as I listened to my footsteps patter dully against the pavement at my feet. Any moment now, that pavement would turn to soft grass, and that grass into twigs and shrubs. I had no idea what I would do once I reached the forest, but it wasn't that important right now. The first step was leaving, not looking back, and figuring out the details as they came to me. The rest was nothing.

Just procedures.

Just precautions.

Securities.

XxxX

_It was movie night. Generally, when one thinks of a movie night, they imagine a child and their parents huddled on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a warm blanket over their laps. Sadly, in this case, the parents were out of the picture. More than once a week, mother and father were gone until the wee hours of the morning with a gaggle of their upper middle class chums, leaving the house entirely to Knox and I. On nights like these, regardless of school, I took the liberty to stay up late and pop in a scary movie to pass the time. Tonight's film was some foreign ghost story with a name I couldn't pronounce and probably didn't remember. The plot was vast and quite confusing, but captivating all the same. Gallons of blood didn't hurt either. _

_Every few moments, when the scene was at its most suspenseful, I would glance over at Knox sitting on the other end of the couch. He had this stone-cold expression on his face. Not once did he crack a smile or a frown or muffle a gasp of surprise, like nothing scared him at all. But all the same, I could see the goose-bumps rising on the back of his neck. _

"_Hey you," I pushed my bare foot gently against the side of his leg. My voice was muffled by the cherry-red lollipop sticking out of my mouth and clanking awkwardly against my gapped front teeth. Mother always said the gap would grow shut, like it was an imperfection that age would take care of, but her prediction—of course-was incorrect. _

"_Don't like scary movies?" I asked innocently as he stared with that stern expression he almost always wore. I gave him a faux pout as I teasingly prodded his thigh with my toes. With a shy, ticklish grin, Knox pulled his leg away the tiniest bit, his cheeks flushing pink. It humored me to see him drop his edgy, defensive manner and reveal his more lighthearted side. And all it took was a little tickle. _

_Before Knox had a chance to retaliate, we were surprised by thump at the front door. We jumped simultaneously._

"_Mom and dad must have locked themselves out again," I said with a nervous giggle, taking a glance at the clock. Only one thirty in the morning…that was a bit early even for them. _

"_Don't pause the movie," I said to Knox as I ripped the lollipop out of my mouth and shoved it into his. "I'll be right back, okay?" Knox stared at me bewildered for a moment in his silence, watching me jump up and flutter across the room towards the entrance hall._

_It crossed my mind briefly that something was a little strange. For one, mother and father almost always kept the door unlocked when they left for the night, anticipating their drunken irresponsibility. And like I said, in all my years of knowing them, not once had they headed home before five in the morning on a night like this. Those suspicions passed through my mind a bit too late, unfortunately. By the time I jogged into the dining room and poked my head around the wall to take a look, the front door was already pushed wide open and a trail of large, muddy footsteps were heading inside. _

_While I watched the rain pouring in onto the carpet, I jumped ahead and slammed the door shut with a heavy push. "Mom?" I said in a hoarse whisper. No one answered._

"_Dad?" I spoke up a bit louder, whirling my head around to glance in each room before resting my back against the cold surface of the door. Beside me, in the spot where mother and father left their shoes, nothing was there. Mother's purse wasn't sitting on the kitchen table as it usually did, and father's jacket was still missing from its hanger. To add to these suspicions, one peek out the window would show me that the driveway was still barren and empty._

_Mother and father weren't home._

_There was a clatter in the kitchen. I jumped and stifled a frightened gasp, backing up into the corner as my only defense mechanism. My eyes followed the intruder's footsteps from where I stood onto the dark kitchen floor, and finally to a dim shadow moving around ten feet away. Whether or not it saw me, I wasn't sure. But when regarding the squeaky floorboards beneath me and my not-so-silent patterns of movement, it was decidedly so. _

_The noises stopped. I watched with bated breath as the shadow standing before me paused in its tracks and stood up tall. He turned his head slowly. I couldn't see his eyes, but something in my instincts told me that they were staring right into mine._

_My actions go to show that I wasn't too smart when it came to fear. Rather than taking a second to evaluate the situation, I ran like hell the second the intruder took a step towards me. Tripping over my own feet and nearly knocking down half the house on my way, I scampered into the living room—but Knox was not there._

"_Knox!" I screamed, whirling around in the darkness with my heartbeat pounding loudly in my ears. I swallowed my heavy breaths somewhere on the verge of hysterics. There was no answer, only the eerie creaking of floorboards from everywhere in the house._

_All at once, there was a crash and then a bang and then another. It sent chills up and down my spine. My feet wanted nothing but to run up to my bedroom and barricade myself in, but my ears deceived me with the endless sounds of violence emanating from everywhere and nowhere in particular. I was trapped in place._

_In a moment of desperation, I dropped onto the floor with my knees on either side and my face buried in my hands. Something in my subconscious was telling me that if I made myself small, I would become invisible. I would disappear and this whole ordeal would just go away forever. _

_The sound of breaking glass from upstairs dragged me out of my other world. I stared up at the pitch-black ceiling, my glassy green eyes full of tears and red around the edges. A second of silence ensued, and then the shatter was followed by a heavy, wet thump against the pavement outside. I closed my eyes tightly, trying not to imagine what had happened, as I waited for someone to find me. For once in my life, I begged mother and father to come home soon. For once in my life, I wanted them to be parents._

_Pressure fell down on my shoulder. Startled and terrified, I jumped to my feet and fell straight back down on the floor, fully prepared to beg and plead for my life. Nothing exited my mouth but a pitiful whimper._

_Suddenly, I saw a red-gloved hand extend to me, and my heart rose. It was only Knox. In the dim light from the television, I could see his sweat-drenched face staring back at me from the dark. One eye was bruised dark red and a tiny cut on the corner of his lip was slowly oozing a thin trail of blood down to his chin. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up with a bit of struggle, limping on one tender leg turned red with a deep gash across his calf. _

_Without a word said between us, I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and nuzzled into him. For minutes, I didn't let go. And Knox never asked me to; he simply placed a be-gloved hand on the top of my head and laid his face gently against my hair. I could feel his cheek, hot and throbbing painfully, as it settled against my forehead. He was warm…so much warmer than mother or father. Hugging him was like quenching a long-tormenting thirst. I hadn't felt another person's warmth in so long that I was almost afraid to let go. _

_Finally, I loosened my grip. "I'll get you a bandage," I said quietly to my Pokémon companion._

_I popped up on the tips of my toes and gave Knox a gentle kiss on the cheek as a sort of consolation. He didn't say anything to me or return the gesture, but judging by the glazed-over look in his wide eyes, he was feeling a little complicated. I gave his arm one last squeeze as I walked past, turning off the television with one hand and holding myself up against the wall with the other._

_I didn't see Knox, but I could feel his eyes on me from the second I turned around to the second I disappeared up the staircase._

XxxX

It was raining again, just like it had been three years ago when Knox first saved my life. Underneath the protection of the forest trees, the occasional raindrop fell on my face like a reminder of what waited for me out in the open. I imagined every danger I could face—people, Pokémon, natural disaster…I was basically defenseless.

I had never known what it was like to be without protection. In that, I had been spoiled. Perhaps it was selfish of me to go looking for Knox after everything he did for me and all the trouble he went to just to keep me safe. I almost hesitated to keep going.

Then I remembered the day my father kicked him out of the house, and the look in his eyes when he glanced back at me for the last time. It wasn't just duty that kept him with us.

We aided one another all along.


	5. Chapter 5: I Can't Sleep

**AN: A quick shout to DarthSukiMomo! Thank you for the first ever review of my story and all your wonderfully kind words! I definitely appreciate it, and if you have a story you'd like me to take a look at let me know and I will return the favor! **

**XxxX**

When my eyes cracked open, the sun was already out and the rainstorm had ended. Somewhere between staggering exhaustedly under the safety of a large oak tree and lying down fully-clothed on a tattered spare blanket, I had fallen asleep. The grass surrounding me was still wet with morning dew and the remainders of the late-night showers. Even my face and hair were moist. But aside from all that, I didn't feel too refreshed. My dreams were restless and my sleep was interrupted a thousand times over by the sounds of the forest and my own paranoid thoughts. Even so, the second my eyes popped open, there was no going back to sleep.

I rolled over with a tired groan and rummaged through the front pocket of my backpack. I took a quick glimpse at my watch; it was seven o'clock in the morning. The sun had just poked its head over the horizon not so long ago.

Confident that I was utterly alone, I grabbed up a spare shirt and exchanged it for the tank-top I had outworn through the night. After picking a few stray leaves out of my hair and rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I became coordinated enough to fold my blanket back up and lace it between my backpack and the straps around my shoulders.

Before sleeping, I had left a tiny mark on the tree beside me; an arrow pointing in the direction of travel for the next day. It was a good thing I had done so, because with the new brightness of the morning sun, nothing looked quite the same. The eerie, damp feeling I remembered from the evening before was replaced with glistening shades of green and gold along every spectrum of color. Beautiful as it was, it just didn't fit. A little piece of me wanted to wake up to the same dreary, dismal feeling I had known. I was like a stranger in a foreign land, clinging to my negative emotions and my worries while surrounded by such beauty. The ugly duckling just couldn't conform.

XxxX

_The morning after the break-in, mother and father were shocked to come home to a group of police cars gathered around our house. The wet thump I had heard was in fact the intruder's lifeless body hitting the pavement below, and all the while that I tended to Knox's wounds and shook off the initial fears, the corpse was still bleeding out onto the concrete. Neither Knox nor I were held accountable. Although, as the police questioned the both of us, I could feel a little tremble in Knox's hands. _

"_This was the fourth one this month," the police officer said with a glance at the sheet-covered body a few feet away. "This guy was on a marathon or something, breaking into homes all over the county. Already got three rape charges against him. You're lucky, little miss." _

_With the mention of this man's history of assault, I didn't feel quite so sorry for him anymore. Still, my spine went cold as ice thinking about what might have happened if he had found me sleeping on the couch, or waited in the upstairs bathroom for me or my mother. Hundreds of ideas crossed my mind of how he could get one of us at our most vulnerable. But that didn't matter; it was over, and the danger was gone. We were safe now._

_Knox squeezed my hand tightly, always so protective. _

"_Thank you," I said in a murmur barely above a whisper. I gave the hitmonchan a gap-toothed smile, wrapping my fingers tightly around the thumb of his glove. _

"_Chan." Knox nodded to me with a little smile across his face. He had no idea how much I loved to see him smile like that. _

_Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I believe this is the moment I should point out above all others. This wasn't quite the beginning or even the build-up to our climactic pattern of events, but rather this was the prerequisite for all that was to come. I can recall the very smile on Knox's face and the ambient sounds that swirled around us, but most of all I recall a feeling in my gut that both delighted and disturbed me. You must understand, gentle people of the jury, that emotion is the first and foremost flaw of human nature. Fear cripples us, envy swallows us, and love of all things eats us whole. Just as my head was flooded with the realization that Knox was much more than my friend and protector, I had already been devoured. I knew, right then, that what we shared was destined to become more than it already was. _

_In everything we did, Knox and I were creating our own path towards scandal. _

_And now—there was no way that we could stop it._

_We were already eaten alive. _

XxxX

I didn't even think to bring a compass. Why? There's really no method to my madness. It all came down to irresponsibility. I left without an inkling of where I would go, being unprepared and careless, and this is how I would pay for my many mistakes. Every tree looked the same and every shrub was just like the one before it; it's safe to say that I was lost.

"Shit!" In a fit of immature frustration, I whipped my bag off my shoulder and threw it up against a tree trunk. "Goddammit!"

It would seem that my tantrum stirred up more than just my insides. Somewhere above me, wings were fluttering and a cloud of Pidgeys set off for the sky while the eager eyes of the Caterpie watched them, recoiling back into their nests like fearful prey. A hanging Metapod gave a shiver inside its cocoon. Was I that loud?

Something else was stirring in the forest nearby, though; something much more powerful than I was. At first, all I saw was a flash of light which disappeared just as quickly as it came. Then, there was sound. People. I heard voices, distinctly, and the chatter of Pokémon companions. A few final flickers of lightning filled the surrounding space like embers of a flame dying away, and I could see them. The shadows of three human figures.

XxxX

_God knows how long I had been lying awake in bed, just listening. Every now and again the house would settle, but in my head it was the burglar's ghost coming back to get his revenge. Of course it was a ridiculous idea. I was sixteen. Ridiculous thoughts were the only ones in my head. _

_What happens to a girl the year she's sixteen stays with her forever. _

_If I were any other child, I would remember crawling into bed with my mother and father. But in my case, there were no such memories. My childhood instincts were still there, however, and a piece of me knew I wouldn't be able to lie here by myself much longer._

_Almost against my will, I pushed my blankets away and sat up on the edge of my bed. The carpet was cold against my bare feet. Standing up was a clumsy endeavor, almost as though I were drunk. I rubbed my itchy eyes, bruised blue and purple with insomnia, and staggered haphazardly towards the door with one hand outstretched to lead me. _

_Into the dark, empty hall I wandered, led only by the steady tick of a grandfather clock. It grew a bit louder with each step. For once, the ever-creaking floorboards were silenced as though watching in awe. Perhaps the speed of sound had slowed for me. Again, I can't stress enough the ridiculous ideas that pop into a sixteen-year-old girl's brain. My age and my spontaneity would be my only excuses for my actions, because there is no doubt in my mind that I was perfectly awake and aware every second of that night. I knew where I was going even before resting my hand upon the doorknob leading me to Knox's room. I knew it would be him I saw even before I spotted his sleepless body tossing and turning beneath the dark blue sheets of his bed. _

_He was awake before I even opened the door. The moment I poked my head inside, Knox looked up with an expression of terror as though I were a ghost. We stared at one another silently for a moment or two while I nervously rubbed my ankles together. I could see his wide eyes following the length of my stout, curvy legs and all the way to my face. With that eye contact, I could almost read his thoughts. He was nervous. He was scared of me for a split second, and I'll never really know why._

_I shut the door behind me with a light click and leaned against the cold wooden surface. "I can't sleep," I said simply. Such a useless thing to say; it would do no good. It wasn't a question, a proposition, or even a clue. But all the same, Knox understood. He gave me the smallest, blushing smile and scooted to one side of the bed, pulling down the sheets in welcome. _

_It had been years since my hitmonchan and I had slept in the same bed. The last time we did, I was still just a little girl with no intent to become a woman. _

_Now, things were a little different for both of us. _


	6. Chapter 6: Say My Name

"Alright, I got it!"

A boy a few years younger than myself was hopping up and down in a dance of joy with a Pokéball cupped in his hand. I was going out on a limb and guessing that he had just caught something. Sure, I was no trainer and had never even caught a Pokémon before in my life, but in a world full of such creatures, trainers were a dime a dozen. And this guy—with a pack strapped to his shoulders and a bright-eyed Pikachu down at his feet—was most definitely a trainer.

But I know that all of this isn't what you want to hear yet. You're probably saying to yourself: Remy, we're not interested in the captivating saga of kids who hide in bushes and stalk people, we want to know the good stuff! Oh, how impatient you are. But if you must know, I'll back it up a step and let you in on a little secret.

I know what you're thinking. My recollection back to my sixteenth year led me from one movie night mishap to an awkward creep into Knox's bedroom. It might surprise you to hear that what happened next…was nothing at all. We fell asleep quickly, albeit a bit uneasily, and by the time I awoke he was already in the yard starting his morning work-out. That, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is the solemn truth.

And while that memory isn't as exciting as it could be, what was happening in the present was. Looking out through a gap between two berry bushes, I watched three strangers huddled around the smallest boy. One other was a girl, the other a young man, but all three of them were faces I didn't recognize.

"Did you hear something?" the pretty red-haired girl said to the others. My heard dropped to my toes the second her eyes wandered near me, inspecting the bushes with a scrutinizing eye. How could she have heard me?

I swiftly jumped behind the nearest tree and stood with my back up flat against it like a plank of wood, somehow hoping that I would camouflage myself like a lizard.

"I didn't hear anything, Misty," a boy's voice spoke up in a dry tone. "Sure you're not hallucinating?"

"No, I heard it too." The second male said this time. I could hear their footsteps becoming louder and then fainter as they paced around the clearing looking for the source of the sounds. If I had any luck whatsoever, it would be a wild Pokémon or even another trainer—just anything but me. Maybe it was foolish of me to be so afraid. After all, they were just kids. But after hearing stories of Pokémon used to rob, beat, and even murder innocent bystanders, I wasn't going to take my chances.

Remy O'Dell, the weak little rich girl, was defenseless yet again.

XxxX

"_Can you say, 'Knox'?"_

"…_Nnn…nnn…hn."_

"_Knox."_

"_Nnnn…"_

"_Kn-ox."_

"_Hrm."_

_It was a hopeless endeavor, you might say, trying to teach Knox to speak. How could it be that he understood every word I said, but when it came to actually reciting the English alphabet, he couldn't get a sound out? _

_I dropped my head onto my chest, trying to ignore the pounding headache growing inside my skull. We had been sitting here on the floor for over an hour, and still Knox couldn't even say his name. I guess Pokémon just weren't meant to speak like humans did. _

_Just then, high-heeled footsteps approached. "Still trying to teach him how to talk?" my mother said as she passed, adjusting the bun atop her head as she prepared for yet another night out. She gave a high-pitched giggle. "Emily, darling, it won't work. It never has." _

"_Remy…" I whispered under my breath with a glaring eye. "It's Remy…"_

_She didn't hear me. She grabbed up her purse from the coffee table and leaned down between Knox and I with a red-lipped smile, her cheeks flushed red as though she had started her little night-at-the-bar early. "All I'm saying is, he's a little slower than we are." She patted Knox on the head, much to his displeasure. "You can't try to teach him something that his little brain can't comprehend. It'll just make him blow right up to smithereens." As though he were a precious household pet, she pinched Knox's cheek between her long gold-painted nails and blew a kiss in my direction before staggering downstairs._

"_There's food in the fridge." She called out. "And if you need anything, just get ahold of the neighbors. Alright, Jenny? Au revoir!"_

_The door slammed behind them and for the first time that day, the house went still and silent. Contrary to the peace outside, on the inside, my head was a thunderstorm. I wasn't upset that mother had forgotten my name yet again—being the one who gave it to me, she often had a habit of letting it slip her mind. No, it was something else; the way she treated Knox like an animal was beyond forgivable. _

"_Remy."_

"_What do you want?"_

_I shouldn't have snapped. I knew that from the very second the words came out of my mouth, but it was far too late by then. The realization hit me like a ton of metaphorical bricks._

"…_What did you just say?" I whimpered in a small voice, reaching out and touching Knox's wrist with rapt attention. His cheeks were turning a deep shade of pink. _

"_Remy?"_

_He said my name. Of all things in the big, wide universe, he said my name out loud to me all on his own. There he went surprising me again, the ingenious Pokémon. Knox could say my name. _

_I was delighted, not just for him but for my own personal victory. It's a selfish thing to think, I know, but arrogance is just another fault of mankind that I wasn't immune to. But as one part of me wanted nothing but to rub it into my mother's face that she was wrong, the biggest part of me had never been so proud of the hitmonchan sitting in front of me. _

_I grabbed Knox's shoulders and hugged him tightly. "You did it!" I squealed with happiness as I pressed the sides of his red-cheeked face. "Oh Knoxxy, I'm so happy!" Practically toppling him over, I threw myself into his lap and squeezed him like a giant stuffed animal. He gasped for breath in a moment of surprise. But after a second or two, I felt his strong arms circle around my waist and hug me back. _

_Mother and father never held me; that much I remember of my childhood. That emotional neglect didn't turn me into a serial killer nor did it turn me into a sniffling cry-baby, but I can tell you truthfully that every hug I received was like a precious gift. Knox's hugs were perfect. Perhaps it's just because he's the only one to have ever shown me real affection, but when he embraced me, I never wanted to let him go. I could squeeze and squeeze until the end of the world and never give a damn, because I was with my best friend. _

_Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, lend me your ears one more time. Not only that, but lend me your hearts. No one person can understand the many mysteries of love or how love is shared. My feeble attempt is only to explain that everything Knox and I shared was a mutual agreement between minds and souls. Perhaps we are a different race, even a different species, but our ideas flow the same. _

_We are only two bodies among billions. _

_The clock was just striking seven. Outside a pair of large bay windows, the sun was setting beautifully over the gold and crimson trees. It was all so quiet and sweet. And amidst the perfection of it all, Knox and I shared an utterly imperfect kiss. With our faces at awkward angles and our hands unsure of where to settle themselves, his thin lips met my plump ones for a quick instant before pulling apart. It was like juggling fire. We were both too afraid to hold out a second longer for fear of getting burned. _

_I giggled shyly with red-hot cheeks, brushing my hair behind my ear simply as something to do. I had nothing planned to say—no heartfelt words or a change of conversation, not even a single thing. But I suppose that just makes two of us. _

_Like I said before, words aren't always necessary. _

XxxX

One second, I was standing still as stone behind a tree. Then, the next, I found myself face-first in the dirt. My body was hurting all over from the shock. First, I heard a tiny spark and then before I had a chance to even move an inch, bam; on the ground I went, twitching like a robot thrown in a swimming pool.

"Ash, why'd you do that?"

"I thought maybe it was Team Rocket."

I had no idea what they were talking about, but I didn't give a fuck at this point. Still aching from head to toe, I lifted my head up with a struggle and followed the legs of three strangers standing above me. A curious little Pikachu peered over its masters shoulder with cheeks still sparking.

"You know," the red-haired girl said thoughtfully.

"Somehow I doubt she's with Team Rocket."


	7. Chapter 7: Intermission

"Rookie, you're up in five!" the gruff voice of a bald-headed man yelled from the other side of the locker room door. Thick billows of hot steam were rising from the showers. With each breath of humid air, Knox was struggling to fill his lungs to full capacity. One whole week of this lifestyle and he was already almost regretting not letting Charles O'Dell pull the trigger to the back of his head.

He could hear the crowd growing restless outside as a team of stand-by's carried an unconscious Machop out of the ring. The victor, a Primeape currently bouncing back and forth against the ropes, was greeted with a rambunctious applause. The lightweight match was over. Now the people wanted to see the main event.

A pair of rough, shovel-like hands fell down on Knox's shoulders. "Remember what we talked about," a man named Dirk spoke darkly to the hitmonchan. "You're gonna win me six hundred bucks tonight." It wasn't just a goal or a dare, it was a threat. Every night, this man Dirk put his money on Knox and expected nothing other than a clean-cut victory. And if Knox couldn't serve him up what he wanted, it was all over. Kicked to the curb, my friend. Caput.

Dirk grabbed a dry towel from the bench and tossed it onto Knox's shoulders. He smelled strongly of beer and sweat, both of which were visible on the front of his tattered wife-beater. He was a large, muscular, hairy man with no sense of common courtesy and a horrible taste in aftershave; so, in short, he was the only kind of guy who would hire Knox. Dirk wouldn't let him go in one piece until Knox paid him back all that he lost on his last Pokémon fighter. The man was so far in debt he could practically swim in it, and any Pokémon willing to fight for him was either a fool or a desperate man. Knox liked to think he was simply desperate. But once this was over and Dirk set him free, Knox was going to find his girl and never lose sight of her again. His plans were a little unorthodox to be true, but he wasn't the kind of guy who would let anyone tell him differently. He was going to find Remy, bring her back to the city, and they would live like the protagonists of some fairy tale story. It might be a difficult road, with plenty of struggles, dirty apartments, bedbugs, and empty wallets, but the fight would all be worth it in the end.

Dirk gave him a hard pat on the back before taking his leave. "Two minutes." He said with a low grunt.

In two minutes, the clock would strike eight. By now, the sun was already fading and the city lights were taking over. The vibrant colors of the bustling metropolis were beautiful. It was something Knox had always wanted to see and to experience, but something was missing from his plan.

Knox regretted so many things: the times he hurt Remy without even meaning to, the times he underestimated his own strength, but most of all he regretted being too cowardly to go back for her.

Next time, it would be different.

Only one minute left now until it was Knox's turn to fight. Through a tiny square window, he could see the other trainers lining up and comparing their Pokémon for the upcoming battles. Knox's competitor, a Machamp with massive arms and legs like redwoods, was beating his chest like an ape.

Outside the ring, thousands of spectators were cheering and screaming with a mixture of delight and anger. Some of them were there to be entertained, others to win a bet, and some just to witness the violence. There were as much a part of this establishment as the fighters themselves.

Dirk led Knox into the narrow walkway that separated them from the chaos. All the while, he was egging him on; be faster, be stronger, make the first hit, don't let your guard down. Knox knew the system like clockwork by now. It was always the same.

_Time to put on a show_, Knox thought to himself as he jumped over the ropes and took his place in the corner. His foe was staring him down on the other side while the opposing trainer rubbed his shoulders and spoke to him privately in his ear. Dirk stepped away from Knox altogether, knowing he was better off not being touched. When Knox was ready to punch someone's lights out, he preferred to do it without any distractions.

"Ladies and gentlemen," a booming voice rang through the speakers and drowned out the screaming crowd. "You've see our lightweight champion turn an amateur to putty, and now it's time to witness two heavyweights return for their third one-on-one battle! Last time, Kurt's machamp took the title. Will Dirk and his hitmonchan be able to reclaim their status as heavyweight champion of Neon Town?"

The crowd was going insane with anticipation as Knox and his rival shook hand in glove, staring at one another intensely. It was all just an act, pretending to hate one another in order to get the crowd riled up. That's all this business was—a violent stage show.

The bell chimed. It had begun. Knox clenched his fists tightly inside of his gloves, building up his strength for the first punch. Machamp was taking his time, staring the hitmonchan down and watching his movements. It was taking far too long. Always impatient, Knox rushed into the center of the ring and made one quick swipe towards machamp's head. He grazed the side of his face, but failed to make more than a tiny scrape almost too small to notice. Staggering clumsily to his feet again, he tried to lunge towards his foe, and again the machamp avoided it with a casual step. Almost in an act of mockery, machamp stuck out one leg and sent Knox falling onto the mat face-first without so much as an ounce of effort.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dirk was screaming at Knox from the other side of the ropes, his face red and his veins popping out of his thick neck. "Get up, you dumbass!"

The fight just started, and already Knox was losing. He was so angry with himself—so embarrassed—that he didn't even want to look the crowd in the eyes for fear that they had already lost hope in him. There was no margin for error this time. Knox had to fix it before it was too late.

With his face aching on one side, Knox stumbled back on his feet and leaned himself against the ropes. His rival was flexing his arms to the crowd as though he had already won the fight. His confidence would be his downfall. As Knox watched him boast his strength, all he saw was an arrogant bastard just like Mr. Charles O'Dell standing in the middle of the ring with his chest stuck out and his head so full of bullshit it was about to explode. In the pit of his gut, he felt an uncontrollable rage filling him. So clearly he could see the face of that man, the one who drove him out.

_It's his fault,_ he was thinking. _Everything was his fault._

Knox let out a furious yell and charged at machoke with all his speed. He couldn't control his own arms. He threw his rival to the mat and punched him across the face over and over again, watching blood spewing from his nose and his open mouth. The sight of it only made Knox crave more. The hitmonchan held machoke down with his body while he continued to beat him lifeless, all the while imagining that he was tearing old Charles O'Dell to bits. He wanted to rip him apart with his teeth, to throw him against a wall, to crack his head open; anything, until he was nothing but a pile of bloody bones on the floor. That was what Knox truly wanted.

"Enough!" Dirk was yelling from the side. "Hitmonchan, enough! Stop it now!"

Knox wasn't listening. He pounded his fists against machoke's face at lightning speed, until a set of rough hands grabbed him by the arms and forced him off his rival's body. Breathing heavily and covered in blood and sweat, Knox was pushed to the ground with a hard blow to the face from his trainer. Dirk stepped on his chest to hold him down, all the while glaring at him with an anger he had never seen from him.

"What the fuck was that?" Dirk screamed in his face. All at once, the ring was full of people: the angry machoke trainer being held back by his cohorts, a team of medics checking the fallen Pokémon's vitals, and countless reporters flashing cameras in every direction they could get. The crowd was silent for the first time as they watched with anticipation. Whether or not Dirk ever got his money back, the show alone would become a hot topic for weeks to come.

Machoke was breathing.. "He's alright!" the announcer yelled over the speakers, sending the crowd into an applause. Kurt helped his beaten, bloody Pokémon to his feet and carried him off with a bitter stare towards Dirk and Knox, possibly vowing some sort of revenge. It was official then; Knox had won the match this time around.

Dirk helped Knox back to his feet with a rough tug, faking a smile to the crowd. To them, he was the victorious trainer of Neon Town's new champion, but they didn't hear him murmur out of the side of his mouth.

"If I see something like that again," he said to Knox. "I'm breaking both your arms."

Knox only grinned with his half-swollen face.

_Let's hope you never get the chance…_


	8. Chapter 8: Soap

**AN: **_**Sorry about the short absence. I had a shit ton of work to do. (boo hoo, blah blah, whiney baby…) ANYWHO…nevermind.**_

_**XxxX**_

Bits of ash and hot coal floated up from the forest floor as our kindling fire slowly grew. Brock, a young man about my age, tended to it with a long stick while his other two companions carried on their battle of wits. The cute-faced redhead girl was named Misty, I learned, and she was a passionate trainer of water-type Pokémon. Ash was the other—the youngest, but undoubtedly the most hot-headed of the trio. These were the three who had found me in the forest, and although the first encounter was nothing to celebrate, they had soon realized that I was not their enemy.

"So you don't have any Pokémon with you?" Ash seemed surprised that I was traveling alone. With his Pikachu sitting fondly on his shoulder, it was no mystery that he lived and breathed to be a trainer.

I looked down at my mud-caked shoes and blushed in the dark. "Actually," I answered shyly. "That's why I'm out here. I'm looking for my Pokémon."

Brock, who was leaning on his hands and knees to blow into the fiery embers, gave a low sort of snicker. "I wonder why it ran away then," he said with an almost condescending voice. He must have been proud of himself, being a breeder and all, when he spotted an inexperienced trainer he could look down on. But maybe I was judging him too quickly, just as he did me. Nevertheless, a twinge of anger hit me in the gut.

"He didn't run away," I said defensively. "He just…got lost."

It was a lie. I knew from the beginning that if I was to make it on my own, I would have to lie now and again. No one needed to know the real truth and I'm sure no one would want to know. My best defense now was to pretend that things were simple, innocent, and average.

XxxX

_Knox and I had suddenly become secret agents. We were ultimate masters of concealment, skilled in the art of secret languages, and deadly efficient at sneaking. Whether it be a dreamy-eyed glance across the room, a kiss behind closed doors, or just a playful nudge beneath the table, every day we were finding new and exciting ways to fool my mother and father. It was an immature sort of game, but it was the biggest rush I'd ever had. We were excited just knowing that what we were doing was forbidden. _

_Gentle jury of my peers, I know you must think us irresponsible. Here we were, a girl of sixteen and her family's prize Pokémon, carrying on some sort of flirting frenzy. It was the ultimate deception. We fooled my parents, our guests, but more importantly we were fooling ourselves all along. We didn't see the true danger we were slowly drawing ourselves into. We weren't quite a couple, but we were more than just housemates; we were at a weird stage in-between. It would be like this for a few more weeks to come, where everything we did was just fun and games and nothing got serious. This was going to change very soon. _

XxxX

Misty sat down beside me on a cold, damp log with a thin blanket to keep our bottoms dry. A little creature on her lap, a Togepi, trilled cutely with its arms outstretched to dance about with her hands.

"When I think about losing my little Togepi," she said thoughtfully. "It just scares me to death. I don't know what I would do if something happened to him." Sweet-faced Misty gave me an affectionate smile. "So I can only begin to understand how you feel."

"Yeah, like she said!" Ash piped in enthusiastically. "Pikachu and I have been a team since the beginning. I'd be lost without him by my side!" His loyal little Pokémon squealed happily as his master offered him a pellet to eat.

I had a small sense of security being among these three trainers. I knew so little and they knew so much, but it would seem that our feelings for our Pokémon companions were one thing we could share. Although, I guess, my feelings towards Knox were not quite the normal, acceptable kinds of emotions.

"Any idea where it ran away to—err, got lost?" Brock corrected himself and blushed with embarrassment. After which, I quickly turned his gaze away and pretended to interest himself strongly in the fire between us.

I shook my head sadly. "He's a hitmonchan," I said with a shrug. "I hear they don't live in the wild too much."

There was a solemn agreement among the group. Brock, who had made it known that his knowledge was the most vast, cleared his throat to break the silence. "I've never seen one in the wild," he said matter-of-factly. "But they're naturally urban Pokémon. I doubt one could survive on its own if you were to throw it out here in the woods."

Maybe it was just me, but his words of superior wisdom weren't too comforting.

Ash chuckled nervously. "I think what he means is, this might not be the place to look." he gave me a wide smile to calm my terrified expression. "We're heading over to the city from here, and I'm almost positive your hitmonchan will be there looking for you too."

Positive? It was such a confident word. When a promise like that was said, there's no way it can be taken back. I would love to have believed him with all my heart and to love that self-assured smile, but it just wasn't going to happen. I would always fear the worst.

Still, there was no reason not to try.

XxxX

_The average family unit, consisting of two parents and their children, usually states that the mother is the chief master of housework. However, in this household, my mom was too busy primping for her evening parties to do the dishes and risk ruining her perfectly manicured nails. Considering that I seemed to have no interest in making myself pretty, it was me at the end of the day who stood on my tip-toes in front of the sink cleaning up after supper. My fingers were getting pruney. _

_Father was gone on some sort of business deal, which meant he was probably getting liquored up with ugly old men and their whores. Mom didn't seem to care as she pranced around, readying herself for her own frivolities. "I know it's Friday," she said to me as she slipped her open-toe high heels on. "But you should really get to bed at a decent time, dear, or else you'll be sleeping all through the day." _

"_Yes, mom, I know. I'll do fine." I answered her as I dried a sopping dish and placed it into the cupboard. Before my mother left, she blew a kiss and gave a cute little wave like she always did, but never dared to get a foot within reach. It was as though to touch me were a mortal sin. _

_Propped up on a wooden stool to compensate for my stunted growth, I could see out the kitchen window as my mother's car pulled out of the driveway. For one reason or another, washing the dishes was more enjoyable when I knew that I was now the woman of the house. It was like pretending that I was taking care of my own place and not doing boring chores just for my parents. _

_They were gone, so now the place was mine. I was like a busy little housewife, which would mean…_

_Knox…_

_I was startled to realize I wasn't alone anymore. As I finished rinsing a glass cup, my towel miraculously disappeared and ended up in Knox's hands. He was inexpertly drying off the outside of a coffee mug in his own little attempt to help me finish my chores. _

_I smiled tenderly. "You don't have to help," I told him. "It'll just bore you." _

_On the contrary, Knox gave me a toothy smile in response, patiently waiting for the next dish to dry. _

_To think that someone with such an instinct for violence could be so sweet. _

_I must have forgotten my graceless nature, for I overestimated my balance and leaned on one foot to reach the towel cupboard. Before my fingers even grazed the door, my little wooden bench had begun to lean. Knox made to grab me quickly, but not quickly enough._

_With soapy water flying into my face and soaking my clothes, I plummeted hard onto the linoleum floor in a flailing heap with Knox swiftly following. His hands slapped the tiles on either side before the full weight of his body could crush mine, but we caught ourselves still inches away. It was embarrassing, really, to say the least. One accidental slip had pushed Knox and I into quite the compromising position. My hands rushed to pull down my pleated skirt and cover my awkwardly-spread legs, but it was far too late to undo the humiliation. With each tiny movement, we risked an uneasy graze of skin against skin or a glance at parts we shouldn't look at. Needless to say, Knox and I were redder in the face than candied beets. _

"_S-sorry," I murmured quietly as I fought to keep my breath from staggering. Knox gulped a lump in his throat but did not speak. With a slight nod, he forced a brief grin which disappeared as quickly as it came. _

_I think frustration is the most accurate description of what we both felt here. Until this moment of unexpected physical awkwardness, Knox and I were blissfully unaware of our own carnal instincts. It took a push to get us to realize the sexual frustration hanging in the air, but once it was established, it would bother us endlessly. It was like a stain on the back of your favorite shirt; it can go unnoticed for a long time, but once you know it's there, it will never get off your mind. Knox and I realized the trouble we had gotten ourselves into as we lay in a heap on the floor, drenched in water and soap, too close for comfort. Hugs and kisses were child's play. What we had just discovered was the next stage. _

_I closed my eyes and welcomed a light, close-mouthed kiss. I'm sure that Knox and I were thinking the very same thing right then._

"_Mom and dad must never, never know."_


	9. Chapter 9: All Better

_My bedroom was dark, just like the stormy sky outside, but I could see well enough to find my table drawer. Know was waiting quietly in the doorway, as though afraid to enter without permission, while I rummaged around until I found a small tin full of bandages. _

"_Here," I said as I pulled one out and began to strip away the waxy wrappings. "Let me see your hand."_

_I reached out to Knox and beckoned for his wounded finger. Somewhere between drying dishes and falling into a heap on the kitchen floor, he had cut his thumb on a broken glass. After a few moments of letting it go by unnoticed, he finally swallowed his pride. That was something he rarely allowed himself to do. _

_Yet, his stubborn side always took charge, and before I had a chance to press the band-aid down, he already pulled his thumb away in protest. "Hi'mon…" he murmured under his breath with his chest slightly puffed, his little way of saying, "I don't need that."_

_I smiled and took his hand again. "Please?" I asked of him with a feigned pout. I could see in his eyes that he was almost considering it. _

_From out the window, there was only one beam of light finding its way into my bedroom. A pair of street-lamps not so far away casted an eerie blue illumination that offered just enough light for me to see a droplet of dark red blood oozing down Knox's thumb. I held his hand close to my face and, in some bizarre act of affection, I put my lips around his wounded finger and kept it warm in my mouth. Knox stared at me, dropping his whole manly act._

_Inside of my hands, I could feel him tremble fearfully. _

XxxX

There was no reason to let myself bother these people any longer.

I was the first to wake up, before Ash or Brock or Misty even began to stir. The sun was barely even rising. For a moment, I had considered leaving some kind of note; a quick thank-you for setting me on the right track or something. But, it just didn't seem appropriate. I wasn't so much a guest as a nuisance.

On this lonely morning, I had silently crept along while I packed my things and erased every trace of my presence. Maybe it wasn't just selflessness that was leading me to heading off on my own again. A big piece of me didn't want these three to know me. They were too kind, too pure, and too good of people to be mixed in with types like me; lechers, freaks, and spoiled goods. We would all be better off if I just left.

I took one last brief glance at the camp-sight and the three sleeping figures still curled in their sleeping bags. The sweet and lovely Misty, the confident and energetic Ash, and handsome and intelligent Brock. I would remember them, maybe not as friends exactly, but as fond acquaintances. Maybe one day, when Knox and I were reunited and we had a place of our own to live, I would be happy to see them again. Maybe.

With a stretch of my arms and a mighty yawn, I got myself up on my legs and adjusted my backpack for a day's long walk towards Neon City.

XxxX

_I kissed the band-aid on Knox's thumb and gave him a sweet little grin. "There," I whispered. "All better." _

_Sitting beside me on my bed, Knox was staring down at his thumb as though he had never seen it before. Then, with a tiny nod, he grabbed my hand and repeated the gesture with a tiny kiss to my thumb. That curious expression on his face, along with his blushing cheeks, was too cute to ignore. _

_I giggled shyly. "But my thumb doesn't hurt," I told him. "You're supposed to do that only if it hurts." _

_Knox thought to himself in silence for a second, and then smiled warmly. His hand escaped from mine and wandered towards my neck, to my collar bone, and rested on the left side of my chest. My steady pulse beat against the palm of his hand. "Chan?" he murmured under his breath. _Here?

_I furrowed my brow, feeling a tiny pang of sadness creeping up on me unexpectedly. All this time my parents had considered Knox to be more of a household pet than a person, and here he was learning me better than either of them had. I lay my hand over his and listened for my heartbeat. "Sometimes," I told him quietly without letting our eyes meet. "Sometimes it hurts there…" _

_There was no hiding it. I always thought myself to be a tough girl; I always kept my mind a secret, I never let a tear fall in front of anyone, and more often than not I simply brushed off any sad thoughts trying to come up to the surface. I was raised to look after myself, and to be an adult and a child at the same time. But the truth? _

_I will tell you the truth, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Evidence #1: the true feelings of Ms. Remy O'Dell. It will be our little secret. _

_The truth is, I wanted nothing more in my life than for someone to hold me close and tell me everything would be okay. Just once, I wanted to be someone's treasured little thing, like I should have been to my parents. _

_To my dismay, I could feel bitter tears stinging in the corners of my eyes. I tried to hide my quivering bottom lip. Knox wasn't fooled for a second. He leaned in gently and laid a small, tender kiss on my chest, sending it right to my heart. "Betta?" he imitated me with partial success, answering to my forced straight-face with a melancholy little smile. _

_A tear escaped from my eyelashes and rolled down my flushed, freckled cheek. Looking Knox eye-to-eye, I cracked a genuine smile and nodded my head up and down. "Betta," I mimicked him. Overcome with adoration for him—his sweet face, loving eyes, and devoted heart—I threw my arms around his shoulders and kissed his lips with more force than I ever had. However, this time, rather than jumping back in surprise, I felt his arms encircle my waist as eagerly as I had latched onto him. _

XxxX

There was something new in the air today. Maybe it was just me, but I could breathe easier with my new path laid out ahead of me. _Just a bit further_, I thought to myself with the brightest disposition I could muster. _Neon City is so close. _

Still, in the largest vicinity of my mind, I was dreadfully afraid. There was no telling what I would find in Neon City. Maybe Knox was there, maybe he wasn't. And if he wasn't, then where would I go next? What kind of leads did I have? Even worse was the idea that Brock was right about urban Pokémon; they can't survive in the wild the way other Pokémon can. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Knox had died all because of me.

_No, don't think like that_. I shook my head as though it would knock out all of the negative ideas. _He's fine, Remy. He's just fine. He's probably doing a lot better than you are_.

I could only hope.

But then again…what if he was doing better now? What if he had found another trainer, or maybe a dojo full of fighting Pokémon like himself, and he already forgot all about me? He'd never want to see me again.

_Stop thinking like that_, a second voice in my head snapped back again. _I know he wouldn't do that. He loves me. We love each other. He wouldn't forget. _

If I could only have one thing in the world…One thing, and only one…

I would make sure that neither of us either forgot.


	10. Chapter 10: Like Paper

**AN: DAMN it's been a while. Sorry about that. I didn't lose interest, just a lot of shit came up. College, work, then I was in the hospital, then even more work—okay, I'm done rambling now. Sorry.**

…

"_I'm…a little shy." I whispered in the dark with my hands covering my half-naked body. _

_It was so embarrassing to expose my imperfect skin, even in the almost-pure darkness of my bedroom. Distant rumbles of thunder sang along with the nervous quivers that shot up and down my spine as Knox, kneeling a foot across from me, carefully petted my left knee with his four calloused fingers. Never had I felt so exposed, as though every flaw of my frame was magnified and examined a thousand times over. Knox could read my anxiety in the bright red flush of my cheeks and the way my leg twitched against his touch. With a fond smile, his cheek rubbed against the calf of my leg as to say, "you are perfect to me," just as a flash of distant lightning lit up the roughened, bare flesh of his shoulders for a brief instant. _

_I was hesitant to remove my arms from around my waist. Yet, as Knox crept closer to me, the urge to touch him grew. I wanted to feel his warm skin and to press my soft frame against his hardened, muscular flesh like cotton against steel. His natural, earthy scent was so inviting, not like the artificial smell of cologne and aftershave every other man carried. Knox, and everything about him, was beautiful to me. _

_He grabbed my hands in his and pulled them away from my body with a gentle force. As he drew me quietly towards him, I was levitated to my shaking knees and held stable by Knox's firm but loving grip. I could outline every crevice and cleft of his chest with my fingers, like memorizing a map for the blind. The steep hills of his collarbone led my fingers to his neck, which I brushed tenderly while placing a wet kiss on his thin bottom lip. We held one another close, skin against skin, as the chaotic thunderstorm grew stronger on the other side of the window glass. _

XxxX

My feet were growing incredibly tired. The hours passed slowly by, obvious only by the sun's journey across the open sky above me. As I endured this monotonous cycle that never seemed to end, the only things keeping me company were the wild Pokémon scattering about the forest and the thoughts in my head. With the new night approaching, I could see a faint shimmer on the horizon ahead. Below the hills, beyond these trees, Neon City was only a few miles away.

_Heh. Miles. I talk as though they're just inches. _

As the city grew nearer, my anxiety was growing ever stronger. How long would it be before Knox and I found each other again? What if he wasn't there? What if he didn't want me anymore? These were only three of the countless thoughts running a marathon in my head. They were like triathlons, pushing each other around and trying to make it to first place in a never-ending competition. None of these thoughts stayed on the foreground of my mind for more than a minute, but they all pushed to the front every chance they had.

In short, my brain was full of chaos.

XxxX

"_Please," I whispered in Knox's ear timidly. "Be gentle with me." _

_He lifted a hand to my face and gave my cheek the lightest pinch, grinning with both understanding and sweetness. Behind the confident guise, I could tell he was just as nervous as I was. His hands trembled against my skin and I could see a shimmering bead of sweat falling down the side of his face. Even in a kiss, his lips were quivering. _

_That chilly night in October was tricky, to say the least. In every movement we made and every touch, we sported the graceless inexperience that most young lovers do. With every bit of clothing stripped, there was hesitance, and with every embrace we were shaking with a cold sweat of fear. This was no so much an act of lust as it was a right of passage—the first step, on to the next. A hurtle had to be left behind. I held Knox close around the shoulders while his hands fumbled behind my back, inexpertly loosening the clasp of my bra with anxious fingers. Even after the garment lay limp over my chest, I was too embarrassed to let it slide away. It was irrational, I know that much now. There was nothing to hide that he hadn't seen, either by accident or a tempted glimpse into the half-cracked shower door. But this time, it was different. _

_With blushing cheeks, Knox comforted my terrified heart with a tender kiss to the lips. His tongue mingled with mine, pulling us ever closer together as my hesitant arms relaxed and found themselves wrapped around his neck. I could feel his hand slowly creeping up my side, over my stomach, and pausing beneath my breast with a twitch of unease. _

"_It's okay," I whispered, my hot breath in his ear canal, before kissing his cheek softly. _

"_I'm yours…"_

_All at once, we lost ourselves, like standing at the edge of a cliff and finally making the long plummet down. We had driven ourselves mad with anticipation to the point when it hardly mattered anymore if we turned back or kept going. But somewhere between those two extremes, the option for failure was eliminated the second Knox penetrated my virgin flesh. I closed my eyes tightly and gripped his shoulders, trying in vain to disguise the initial displeasure it caused me. I felt myself tear, fragile as paper, like a rubber band twisted too many times. It was a slow and painful process, one that Knox was terrified to make as the concerned expression on his moonlit face unveiled. _

_A slight crinkle of the forehead; 'do you want me to stop?' _

_I shook my head no, biting my bottom lip to suppress the stinging pain this physical invasion had caused me. As a gentle nod of assurance, I wrapped my legs around Knox's waist and squeezed him softly inwards. With that, and a tiny kiss between the eyes, my oldest friend became my first and only lover in one brief night of clumsy, inexperienced lovemaking that ended in self-realizing making up for empty satisfaction. _

_And when it was over and done, we lie silently beside one another overcome with a sad case of virgin guilt. We looked not at each other, but at nothing in particular; dark shapes in the corners, colorless forms on the ceilings, planes like moving stars outside the window curtains. Knox would break the awkward silence with a warm, trembling hand to the side of my sweat-sticky face and an unnatural, inept whisper of "love you". _

_I gave him a weary smile and touched my hand to his. "I love you too," I told him in a cracking voice not quite strong enough to form a real sound. I meant what I said, and I would vouch for it a thousand times over. Human, Pokémon; it didn't matter. _

_I was hopelessly in love with my one and only friend._


End file.
